Nannies can feel like they are in a very difficult situation, when having to deal with a mother that yells at her children. You are there to help her care for them, but at the same time, she can be making your job difficult. Listed below are ten tips for nannies when the mom is a yeller.
Don’t Follow Suit. Just because the mother is yelling at the kids, does not mean that you should yell too. Many people have double standards, and if YOU yell at their kids, you could lose your job.
Set a Better Example. Model better behavior when the mother is around, and maybe she will pick up on your techniques, when dealing with her children.
Ask Around. Check with other nannies you know who may have been in the same situation. They may be able to offer advice on how they handled it.
Timing. Is there a certain time of day when the mom tends to yell, like in the evenings? If so, she may be exhausted and frustrated. You can help by engaging the children in an activity or plan an outdoor trip to give her some time alone.
Offer to Help. If the mom is yelling at the kids, you can offer to intervene. This can be difficult to approach, but something simple like “do you mind if I try to calm her, or how about I help them clean it up”, may give her a chance to see her overreaction.
Stress Relief. Offer to take care of the kids, while she relaxes in the tub. This will give her time away, and she may realize the reason why you offered and try to curb her yelling habit.
Encouragement. When a mom is a yeller, the children may feel discouraged and think they can’t do anything right. Take time to give them praise and encouragement to build their self-esteem.
Emotional Support. If the child voices concern about their mothers yelling, give them the assurance that their mother does love them and may just be expressing her frustration at the circumstances.
Speak to Her. This can be a very uncomfortable situation to be in, but if you feel like her yelling is affecting the children negatively, then you may wish to confront her, and let her know your concerns. Tell her what the children have expressed, and offer to help navigate difficult situations.
Go to Your Agency. If you have tried other solutions, and they have not helped, you may wish to go directly to your agency. They can help you to work through the situation. This may include terminating employment, if you are truly uncomfortable with the situation.
Dealing with a yelling mom is not fun. Be sure to keep your cool, and if she starts to yell at you too, let her know that you do not appreciate being spoken to that way and if it continues, you may need to resign.