Are you a nanny that gets laid off every summer?

You needn't get the Summer blues just because you're a nanny.

By Nanny X,

it always amazes me just how quickly summer descends in the City. By mid-March parents are feverishly sourcing the best camps. By April/May families are looking at their calendars planning their annual vacation. Come June school is winding down. In the midst of all this frenetic activity a nanny can often feel side-lined. 

For most nannies, the summer brings along with it a certain kind of dread. It doesn't matter how invaluable her services are for the rest of the year, over the summer, her very job survival can hang in the balance. Why is this?

1) Nanny herself avoids the issue and simply hopes for some loyalty and a schedule she can work to. 

2) Parents find themselves in a moving landscape where their children's needs are in constant flux, and as such, thinking about the nanny is way down the to-do list.

3) The cost of camp, vacations and out-of-school activities in the City makes it cost-prohibitive to maintain a full-time nanny.

4) Parents deliberately avoid addressing the 'nanny in the summer' issue by waiting until the last minute to disclose what their plans are. 

Just before summer officially breaks the chatter amongst nannies contains a familiar theme: what will they do with me over the summer? Will my hours go down when school resumes? I hope they don't ask me to live-in at their country house. 

Nannies with children of their own face a double quandary: how can I remain in service while organizing my own children's downtime?

Essentially the answer to the 'summer lay-off' is simple. It is the exact same solution to almost every problem governing childcare. It is this: define in an annual review (beginning in January of every year) a new contract or agreement that governs: pay, duties, sick-days, vacation pay/summer retainer and over-time. 

Summer retainer

When you sign a contract with an employer effectively they are buying your time and services for 12 months, not 9 months. You in turn guarantee your labor, commitment and services for that time period. If your employer is unwilling to retain your services over the summer and if they believe they have every right to 'let you go' without pay for 3 months of the year, then you are not being treated as a professional provider. You are being viewed as a casual worker and via your consent, that is, returning in September, you condone your own mistreatment. 

Parents who vacation away often cite economic reasons for why they cannot retain their nanny June-September, but this is not a legitimate reason, it is merely an excuse. If wealthy employers can get away with employing casual workers without any benefits, they will. But you as a professional nanny share some responsibility in protecting your rights as a full-time or even part-time worker. 

Spring is not the time to raise the issue of being retained over the summer, January is. When you begin a new job, lead with a contract. Contracts do the talking for you. In the contract add a clause that states both parties will re-negotiate the terms of the contract annually, at the beginning of the year. Don't let your employers fob you off. Most employers will know ahead of time what school or camp their children will attend over the summer. 

The summer should not be synonymous with being let-go or going weeks without a wage. Nannies, like all professionals, deserve to be retained during any period of time where they are available to work but their employers are not. In other words, it is not your responsibility to guarantee work it is your employer's. 

In my next article I will be outlining what your contract should look like. 

Got any nanny summer horror stories? Send them in. 

Blog changes: this blog will feature more original article writing by Nanny X and less generic 'nanny' news stories. The Problem page remains the same on Mondays, Guest Blogging, reviews and interviews plus weekend reads will remain as is. 

Nanny Tip: Time Out for Toddlers

By the Kid Dr

I love talking to parents about behavior modification and that includes beginning to discipline their children. I really think this is one of the most important jobs for parents and it is hard to believe that your most “precious, perfect” child will at times misbehave.  It happens to all of us!

I would recommend to start using time out as a means of behavior modification when a child is somewhere between 15-18 months of age.  For those of you who watch Super Nanny, she coined the word “the naughty step” which is her version of time-out chair.

When you begin time out, pick a small chair in the house which you can use consistently for time-out. Never use a child’s crib or bed, as you do not want them to think that “bed is for misbehaving”.  After a child gets used to doing time out you can use all sorts of chairs and do time out anywhere. Like many things it just takes practice.

When putting your child in time out get down to their eye level, explain why they must sit in the chair, and hold them from behind (with your arms wrapped around them like you are a rope). I use a timer even at this young age so your child begins to understand how long they will be sitting in time out.  Time out is typically one minute per year of age.

After time out is “finished”, get back to eye level and explain that the next time you ask them to mind you, “they may choose” to listen and they will not have to go to time out.  These are such important words for a child’s entire life, as they need to understand that they are making choices for their behavior.  In other words, taking ownership of making a bad choice and knowing that there will be consequences.  You will use these words over and over, “you made a bad choice therefore....the consequence is....for a young child it is time out, for older children it may be no TV, or no going to a party, or even no driving. All versions of time-out.

One of my patients is a cute family of 5 and the mother has her version or time-out. She says “nose and toes in the corner” for a minute----her kids started doing that at 12 months! Impressive.

What tips do you use with toddlers?

SOURCE: http://www.wfaa.com/news/health/kids-doctor/211164431.html

Weekend Reads: The Nanny's Nanny, Jo Frost

Jo Frost is the host of TLC’s “Family S.O.S. with Jo Frost.” In the show, the former “Supernanny” helps families deal with rowdy teenagers, communication in a marriage and the merging of blended families.

Sounds like something you wish you knew how to do? Frost spills her secrets for getting through to teens and gives advice to both parents and teens on (finally) seeing eye to eye.  

Do you have a specific question for Frost? Ask her here or on Twitter! She tells HLN she loves to help families solve their puzzles. 

HLN: What gives you the most joy in your job?

Jo Frost: Making a difference. When the light bulb switches on and they finally get it.

HLN: What’s the most difficult part of your job?

JF: I’ve never been a keen traveler, so I struggle with that. I’ve become more comfortable with being on planes, trains and automobiles, but in general, traveling for my job is uncomfortable for me.

HLN: First time you decided to help parents deal with teenagers?

JF: It wasn’t a conscious decision. It’s what I was doing before I got on TV: I was a nanny and very involved in helping the families I worked with. People would call me always with specific challenges. I must have only been about 13 years old when a lady asked me if I was interested in becoming a social worker because I had a different way of thinking about these things. I didn’t really understand what the job entailed, which is helping families. When you’re helping families, you’re allowing them to grow and become healthier and more harmonious. Ultimately, it makes for a better world, doesn’t it?

HLN: What’s your advice to parents who don’t have all the time in the world to deal with their teens?

JF: If a teen is giving you a problem, it needs to be your priority, regardless of other issues you might have. And just do it -- stop talking about it. Right now, what you’re saying means nothing to these kids unless you follow through. It’s about enforcing boundaries.

HLN: What’s your advice to the teens who may not want to meet the boundaries?  

JF: I ask them to pull their own weight with the things that are expected of them. It’s about learning about themselves and realizing their own self-respect. But when it comes to the family, I think it’s not for them to get in the middle of their parents. Parents can’t blame the children for their marriage. I’m firm with parents: Get yourself both in a better place or split up. Otherwise, you’re screwing up the kids.

HLN: What’s your secret to disciplining teenagers?

JF: Being open in your communication and making sure that the teens feel like they can have a dialog with you. It’s not about being able to control them. It’s about how we connect with them so that they can come to us if they’ve made mistakes. Let’s focus on healthy communication with them. Honesty is far more worthy in family dynamics. Have conversations with them that allow them to feel like they’re valid and heard. Guide them to make better decisions without being fearful of us. But set precedents and put in place what’s necessary for them to continue to grow and make the right decisions. If they don’t listen to what you’re saying, then we follow through with discipline and take their privileges away from them. They have to earn the respect and maturity.

HLN: What do you think is the biggest pitfall in American families when it comes to parenting right now?

Jo Frost: Families have to take accountability for how they’re behaving as a whole. Stop blaming everyone else and recognize what you can do to be better. Mental, emotional and physical abuse is an epidemic in this country, but it’s silent -- nobody wants to talk about it. So we need to educate people in this country and create more support groups for parents. Give them the support and education they need to be better parents and aunties and sisters and uncles. I’d love an army of people like myself to help support these families during tough times and be able to come in and fix some of their issues.

SOURCE: http://www.hlntv.com/slideshow/2013/06/05/jo-frost-parenting-family-sos-discovery-dream-jobs-teenagers

David Furnish dotes on his and Elton John's mini-mes on holiday in Venice

Their other father is frequently kept busy with his work commitments. But there was no mistaking Sir Elton John's sons as they enjoyed a day out with dad David Furnish in Venice on Saturday. Elijah and Zachary looked the spitting image of their Rocket Man father as they were treated to a shopping trip in the Italian city.

David recently admitted employing a nanny meant that he and Sir Elton - who has sold more than 250million records in a four-decade music career - can enjoy their young sons more, and don't find parenting as 'scary' the second time around.

He said: 'The routine is already in place with Zachary in a way, and all the stuff that was so scary the first time around isn’t quite so scary the second time around. 'Now we have that wonderful infrastructure in place so we can just sit back more and enjoy the little person themselves without the worry – or as much worry.'

Following a spot of retail therapy, the family then headed down to the dock to catch a boat ride, with Zachary looking delighted by the prospect of another trip out on the water. 

Sir Elton was absent from the day out, but previously admitted that such was the intensity of love he feels for their firstborn, who was born on Christmas Day 2010, he was worried if he would ever be able to love another child as much. ‘But I have learned that a parent’s capacity for love is endless’ he said. 'When another child is born, our depth of love just grows deeper and wider, so it was very emotional.

David added at the time of Elijah's birth in January 2013: 'Throughout our lives we have both loved and been loved, but the love of a parent for his or her child is different to anything else, as all parents will know. You find new depths of love, and experience pure joy.

'Both of us have longed to have children, but the reality that we now have two sons is almost unbelievable.

'The birth of our second son completes our family in a most precious and perfect way. It is difficult to fully express how we are feeling at this time; we are just overwhelmed with happiness and excitement.'

SOURCE: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2335119/David-Furnish-dotes-Elton-Johns-mini-mes-holiday-Venice.html?ico=tvshowbiz%5Eheadlines

Weekend Reads: Filipino Nanny trafficked sues couple

A Filipino nanny was tricked into coming to B.C. with promises of being treated well, but spent nearly two years in domestic servitude, a human trafficking trial heard Wednesday.

Leticia Sarmiento, a mother of three, had worked for a Hong Kong couple for nearly a year when they asked her to come to Canada with them, Crown counsel Charles Hough told a B.C. Supreme Court jury in Vancouver.

In Hong Kong, Sarmiento’s job as a caregiver for the couple’s three kids permitted her two days off a week, statutory holidays and freedom to attend church and see friends on her days off.

“Once Ms. Sarmiento arrived in Canada, everything changed,” said Hough. “None of what her employers told her in Hong Kong about what would happen to her in Canada turned out to be true.”

The couple, Oi Ling Nicole Huen and Franco Yiu Kwan Orr, pleaded not guilty Wednesday to human trafficking charges. They sat quietly in the prisoner’s dock with a Cantonese interpreter by their side.

The couple had told Sarmiento that after two years of working in Canada, she’d become a permanent resident here and that they’d help move her family here, so she’d be reunited with her three children from the Philippines, said Hough.

They said that they would follow Canada’s employment rules, with hours and wages similar to what she’d had in Hong Kong, and that her job would be restricted to looking after the kids, with another domestic worker handling housework, he said.

But after Sarmiento arrived at Vancouver airport on Sept. 9, 2008, none of those promises were kept, said the prosecutor.

From her arrival until June 2010, nearly two years, Sarmiento did not have a single day off work, slaving away from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. seven days a week, with no overtime pay, he said.

There was no domestic helper, so she had to do everything, looking after the three kids under the age of five and doing all the housework.

“In Canada, Mr. Orr and Ms. Huen controlled Ms. Sarmiento’s movements. She was not permitted to leave the house other than in the company of one of them. She was not given a key to the house, she was not permitted to speak to anyone outside the house.”

As a result of her living conditions, Sarmiento had no friends and was soon “very isolated” in Canada, said Hough.

“Of course, if she had been permitted to socialize with other nannies, she would have quickly discovered that things were not as they should have been.”

The couple withheld her passport so her opportunity to leave the country was taken away.

Things reached a head on June 13, 2010 when Sarmiento had a physical altercation with Huen and called 911, said Hough. Police arrived and she was taken to a women’s shelter.

Only then did she discover from police that she was in Canada illegally, said Hough. Orr had got her a six-month visitor’s visa, which had long expired by the time police were called.

The visa application in Hong Kong had indicated an intention to stay in Canada only temporarily, and an extension to the visa was refused, noted Hough.

When Orr and Huen moved to Canada with Sarmiento, the couple had “legal status” to do so, having lived in Canada previously. The prosecutor told the jury of nine women and three men that Sarmiento had been born in the Philippines and had worked as a nanny in Saudi Arabia and Lebanon before moving to Hong Kong and being employed by the accused.

If convicted, the accused face a maximum fine of $1 million or a maximum term of life in prison, or both. The trial is expected to run for three weeks and hear from nine Crown witnesses. Several witnesses, possibly including the victim, are expected to testify Thursday.

kfraser@theprovince.com

SOURCE:  http://www.theprovince.com/Court+hears+nanny+horror+story+trial+couple+worked/8451587/story.html#ixzz2UsU7EOEW

Have YOU heard about Nanny Magazine?

Review by Nanny X, 2013

Nanny Magazine is the brainchild of nanny-turned-editor Jennifer and nanny/graphic designer Whitney. In 2012, the two found each other on a nanny discussion forum and decided to start a publication just for nannies in the United States. Since they've launched their social media accounts and website, dozens upon dozens of nannies have come to them saying they can't wait to see the magazine come to life. 

Why? It's real simple. Nanny Magazine is a magazine by nannies for nannies. This is not the joint project of two bored housewives. Jennifer and Whitney understand their demographic in a way no other editor/designer team has before. Visibility is important of course, and nannies are becoming more prominent in the media of late. But Nanny Magazine will take it a step further. 

While the target audience for Nanny Magazine is going to be nannies in the United States, many of the craft, recipe, and activity ideas and other articles will be useful for parents, agencies, educators, and daycare professionals as well. And there's an international flavor too. 

The magazine already has authors on board to write about what it's like to be an over-seas nanny. Parents will also be able to use the magazine as a way to connect with their nanny on a more personal level and to see what sorts of issues nannies actually care about - things that parents may not have been aware of. 

Nanny Magazine launches their print issues in January 2014. Subscriptions will be available for print and electronic versions of their bimonthly publication. The magazine is for real, just like all the other ones in venues like Barnes & Noble. But don't wait until the launch to support Nanny Magazine. They are online now building up a following and a backlog of interesting articles to publish in 2014.

Nannies will read Nanny Magazine because it will speak to them on a level that is neither sympathetic or patronizing. While we love Parenting magazines or blogs they rarely address the issues that are specific to nannies, like contract negotiation and ethical issues that are pertinent to this type of career. 

Nanny Magazine plans all sorts of special issues (see their editorial calendar), with feature topics like traveling with the family, the challenges of loving someone else's child, and what to expect for a Christmas bonus. You won't find that anywhere else. 

So let's come together and support Jennifer and Whitney now. 

Nanny Magazine is on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and their website for the time being. Live links below:

Nanny Magazine opens for subscriptions to the magazine probably in the fall of 2013.

www.nannymag.com

www.facebook.com/NannyMagazine  |  www.twitter.com/NannyMagazine